


As I Am

by LeoOtherLands



Series: To Be As I Am [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Fluff and Smut, Honeymoon, Light Bondage, M/M, Nervous Kakashi, Trans Umino Iruka, Wedding Fluff, Wedding Night, commission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:35:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21619234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeoOtherLands/pseuds/LeoOtherLands
Summary: All I saw was the bronze glow of him and all I heard was, “…and take me as I am.” And that was fine. That was perfectly alright because all I had to do was be there with my Iruka. And just as he was, was all I wanted.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka
Series: To Be As I Am [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1558084
Comments: 12
Kudos: 46
Collections: Dragons Commissions





	As I Am

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EternalSurvivor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternalSurvivor/gifts).



> This is a little something for my dear writing wife, [EternalSurvivor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternalSurvivor). I should have known the moment I said I was giving away commissions for my book launch you would be all over them! You were and now I find myself serving up some fluff! I hope you like this, my dear. I really love me some nervous Kakashi...

He whined under me, like a wounded thing, but the roll of his hips into my thrusts begged me not to stop. A wordless request I acquiesced to by roughly grabbing his hips and pulling him up into me, hands sliding down under his ass, to hold his tailbone off the mattress and allow me to pump into him at a new angle. His response was gorgeous. He strained against the ropes uniting his wrists and binding them to the headboard, mewing out more of those desperate, little cries, while he eyes squeezed shut and he tossed his head from side to side.

“K-kashi!” he breathed out, jerking when I passed all of his slight weight to one hand and brought the other to trail over the intoxicating wetness between his legs and up to play over his flat chest, over crescent shaped scars under his pert nipples. I rolled one of those nipples between my fingers, eliciting a stream of rippling whimpers, even as I pushed deeper and harder into him.

The man beneath me was stretched out, arms taunt over his head, legs splayed wide to either side of my waist, petite body golden and glistening. Looking at him, and listening to his torn sounds of pleasure, I knew Iruka Umino, _my husband_ , was the most beautiful man I’d ever seen.

Unbidden, memories of the day came back to me. The brightest my struggle to draw air, while I looked at my own reflection in a mirror. “I can’t- can’t breathe,” I let out, my gray eyes so wide I thought all the color had dissipated, swallowed by the irises.

Behind me, my father chuckled. He put his hand on my shoulder and turned me around. “You just need to take it easy, Kakashi,” he said, taking the tie I’d been fumbling with out of my fingers and expertly looping it into a neat knot. Another little thing he’d learned in the military. “Stop panicking and remember, one inhale, followed by one exhale. Concentrate on that, until you see him, that’s what I had to do when I married your mother.”

“What do I do then, when I do see him?” I queried, my eyes still wide and taking in everything that was my father. Sakumo Hatake had traded in his usual, camouflage fatigues and ponytail to don a suit, matching mine, and let his long hair fall down over his shoulders. His smile made the slight wrinkles at the corners of his eyes crinkle. Making his dark gaze mellow with love. As nervous and jittery as I was, I couldn’t deny how grateful and happy I was to have the man at my side. Whatever people thought of the Silver Fang, recluse, hippy, little bit cracked dude with the solar panels on his roof and compost heap in his back yard, he was a good man who’d supported both Iruka and me.

“You’ll know when you see him, Kakashi. You’ll know everything when you see him waiting for you.” Sakumo’s fingers went from my tie to my lapel, straightening the flower there and securing it. The brush of those steady digits on my chest calmed me. My old man always had that effect on me. He knew just the right things to say and the exact move to make to reassure his son.

“He’ll be there. Iruka will be waiting for me.”

Sakumo chuckled again. “That he will. And I think it’s about time to get going,” he added, cocking his head at the change of music outside. “Not good to keep your man waiting, Kakashi. Keep him happy and you’ll be happy.” A final brush of his fingers over my suitcoat, to smooth imaginary wrinkles, and he turned me back toward the mirror.

Black suit. Flaming red tie. Blood-red flower. Silver hair, gelled and spiked up. Gray eyes all wide.

“You’ve made your dad proud, Kakashi. Let’s go meet your husband.”

When Iruka and I had been planning how we wanted our wedding, he had made clear a few things he _did not_ want. He did not want to walk down the aisle and he _did not_ want _any_ of his family to be in the ceremony, much less give him away.

The frustrated tears in Iruka’s eyes had made me want to comfort him, but my old man was quicker and, with that instinct which always seemed to know what to do and say to make people feel better, Sakumo had reached out to cover Iruka’s hand with his. “There isn’t any other man I’d rather give my son to than you, Iruka.”

The admission had Iruka laughing out a hiccupping sob, clearly on the way to being happy again, and gave me the brilliant idea _I_ should walk down the aisle and Sakumo _should_ give me away. Looking down the length of the white carpet spread out on the grass and the eyes turned to face me, some hostile, some happy, it no longer seemed like such a brilliant idea.

“I’m going to pass out, dad.”

Sakumo looped his arm through mine and started us moving. “No, you’re not. One foot in front of the other, boy. One inhale, followed by one exhale, until…”

“Until I see my-” I raised my line of sight and there he was. My Iruka. His chestnut hair caught up in a high ponytail, his face lit from within by a radiant smile at the sight of… me. Just me, walking toward him on my dad’s arm.

I’d never be able to remember the subtle differences in his suit compared to mine, the white in place of red, or what the decorations we’d picked out looked like, or the slant of the light hitting him. I knew it. But I’d never be able to forget the way he smiled for me. In that moment, I knew exactly what my dad had meant. I knew what I had to do.

I just had to get to Iruka. Just had to walk the few steps separating us and take his hand when Sakumo affirmed he was the one giving this man to be married. Then Iruka was holding both my hands and reciting his vows to me, while his flawless face turned serious.

We’d agreed to write our own vows over the traditional rigmarole, but I couldn’t figure out what Iruka was saying to me, anymore than I felt I could remember what I was _supposed to say_ when he finished. All I saw was the bronze glow of him and all I heard was, “…and take me as I am.” And that was fine. That was perfectly alright because all I had to do was be there with my Iruka. And just as he was, was all I wanted. All I needed.

Iruka.

My Iruka.

He grown from the man I’d held in my bedroom those years ago, found a way to recognize himself in the mirror when he looked, instead of seeing a stranger, but what I had felt on that lazy morning, so long ago, when he cried in my arms, was still just as true. Everything that made him himself was everything I wanted. Because all of that was… perfect.

Beautiful.

The most beautiful man I had ever seen.

“K-kashi!” he called out again, recalling me to the present and out of the memory. Recalling me to the feel of myself in him and the way he was straining under me, letting out moaning, little screams, while his eyes filled with desperate, liquid tears. “Kakashi! P-please!” my husband begged.

Knowing what he wanted, I brought my free had back between his legs and stroked him in a way that made him jerk and whine again. It didn’t take much to push him over the edge he teetered on, and when he went, he took me with him. His orgasm made Iruka coil his legs tight around my waist and clench down just as tight on the part of me inside him. I groaned a little with my release, then panted and reached to undo the satin ropes I’d tied him with. Iruka had bought them special for the day, but I wanted his arms around my neck.

He gave them to me, too. The moment I unfastened him, my husband brought his arms around my neck and held me snug, while I kissed the overwrought tears out of his eyes. “How was that, Ru?” I whispered to his closed lids.

“Good,” he murmured, drowsily. “Love you, Kashi.”

“Love you too, Ru,” I replied. “Every bit of you.”

**Author's Note:**

> This salty ball of angst and glitter is an original fiction author and fan fiction writer, who literally lives for comments and reader interaction. Even if this is nothing but inarticulate vowel screams, lol. He exist on a flotilla of social media, separated into a wide array writery things.
> 
> If you are crazy enough to want to see what I'm writing on any given day, and maybe try tempting me into writing something specific, feel free to join me in my personal writing Discord [Midway](https://discord.gg/jsQw96p), or friend me on Discord at LeoOtherland#7066 if you would rather chat one on one.
> 
> On Facebook I can be located on my [author page](https://www.facebook.com/LeoOtherland/) for all things original fiction, or in the [AO3 Armada group](https://www.facebook.com/groups/601270063618951) for all things fan fiction.
> 
> On [Twitter](https://twitter.com/RoseOfOtherLand) or [Tumbler](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/leootherlands) I primarily run with the fan fiction crowd and I seldom post and/or tweet anything, but if you want to drop me a line, I am always up for a chat.


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